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“It’s not trying to be the greatest movie on earth. It’s going to be the best action movie of the summer. Hands down, it will win that. But it’s not trying to be a Golden Globe-nominated film. It’s a badass popcorn summer movie.” — Über-hottie Megan Fox, on Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

Moviegoers are a week away from the release of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

We’ve just ordered our advance tickets for The Transformers IMAX experience (thank you very much, Moviefone), which sounds awesomely promising. A synopsis on said film retrieved from the Internets states, “Director Michael Bay has seamlessly integrated the IMAX footage with state-of-the-art CGI to create an unprecedented look and feel for this highly anticipated sequel.”

Sounds outrageously awesome.

In eager and giddy young kid-on-the-night-before-Christmas-like anticipation of this summer blockbuster theater event, Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff has a countdown of the top five robots Greatest Pro Bowls of all time, and other stuff is looking forward to seeing in this sequel.

(Important note: No robot that appeared in the original Transformers flick from 2007 will be included. So, it’s all new robots in disguise here, which means these are either robots that were more than meets the eye in the trailers, or robots rumored to be a part of the film. Anyway, this should be fun.)

Let’s transform and roll out …

5. Wheelie — This little fella sounds awesome. It’s a remote-controlled truck that turns into a little yes-man that appears very clumsy. Little robots are cool. The really big, enormo-tastic bots are even better, so let’s move on …

4. Jetfire — The SR-71 Blackbird is one of the coolest planes ever built, which is a big reason why we’re looking forward to seeing Jetfire (known as Skyfire in the original cartoons) so much. Appearently, according to reliable sources on the World Wide Innertubes (and all sources on the Innertubes are reliable, we know that), Jetfire is a grumpy, old robot who uses a cane (which also doubles as a battle axe, which is wicked) while walking around.

We don’t quite understand how robots can become geriatric, given that many of the main characters in the Transformers series are thousands to millions of years old, give or take a few millenia, and we’re anticipating this to be a plot hole of some sort. But, who cares, giant robots will be blowing stuff up in a happy CGI fest. Did we mention giant robots and stuff blowing up? This will be just a great summer popcorn flick, so who cares about minor plot holes. So minor. Stuff blows up. Let’s move on …

3. The Fallen — This is a character that many who grew up with the mid-80s Transformers are completely unfamiliar with. According to published reports in the World Wide Webs, The Fallen is a powerfully diabolical robot who convinced/corrupted Megatron into forming his army of Decepticons. Here’s hoping that The Fallen’s inclusion in Transformers 2 sets up an appearance for arguably the most bad-ass robot ever, Unicron, in Transformers 3: Yup, There’s a Giant CGI’ed Planet-Eating Robot.

2. Soundwave — In the original cartoon series, Soundwave appeared as a cassette player that turned into a giant robot, which also held onto a number of cassette tapes that turned into little, yet devilishly menacing robots. Obviously, Soundwave had to appear in the new live-action films. Obviously, in this era of iPods and the such Soundwave can’t appear as a cassette player. With all of that in mind, Soundwave’s form in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has been a guarded secret of sorts.

Still, it was Christmas 1984 when the crown jewel of Santa’s yearly haul was the Soundwave toy. That’s what makes his appearance in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen so anticipated here.

1. Devastator — Apparently, the Constructicons play a major role in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Their giant-robot incarnation Devastator appears in the trailer, wrecking some sort of mass havoc and sucking up desert sand and unsuspecting Autobots. Michael Bay has stated as far back as when he was in the midst of creating Transformers, 2007 edition, that he wanted a giant robot of epic proportions. It appears Devastator is that robot. Should be wicked fun.